Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
