WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Drake has all the answers
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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