I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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