hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
