I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
You smell like stripper and shame
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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