Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize