yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Randomize
