Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
