I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize