He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Come see our sink grown plant.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize