I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize