11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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