When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Randomize
