Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
