Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i think i have herpe
just one?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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