In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
last night I used snow as a chaser
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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