i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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