She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
