waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
THAT is your concern right now?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.