Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.