Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff