erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
