If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
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