I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Hippo gnu deer
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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