I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
