I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
