White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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