toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
