you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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