I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
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You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
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I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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