I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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