But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
