brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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