is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
