i already hear my dad disowning me
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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