if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Randomize