Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
