I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize