Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
