After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
