dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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