i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
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