I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize