For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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