Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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