you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Randomize