I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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