You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
