Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
