Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Randomize
