We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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