i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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