I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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