Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
