Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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